Tag: seniors futures. seniors development

Breaking Up with Fear: My New Love Affair with Courage

An old nun I dearly love once leaned in close and whispered a single word into my ear just as I was standing on the edge of one of the biggest decisions of my life: Courage.

At the time, her words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, comforting, but not quite taken seriously. For years, I tucked that word away like a keepsake—something to take out and admire occasionally but never really use. Only recently have I realized just how powerful that one whispered word was. It wasn’t just advice; it was a key. A key to unlock a door I’d been too scared to even knock on. My only regret is that I didn’t take it to heart sooner.

Looking back, I see that fear was the invisible thread that ran through every choice I made. Fear of failing, fear of being judged, fear of messing up spectacularly—or even just a little bit. It was all too easy to let fear call the shots. But last night, I watched The Wrecked Life… it felt more like my life story, honestly), and like Agathe, I realized I’d spent too much of my time holding back, waiting, bracing for disaster. And as a result, I never really lived.

These days, though, I’ve decided enough is enough. I’m not letting fear have the remote control of my life anymore. And surprise, surprise—life is actually a lot more fun this way! I’ve stopped going out with friends out of obligation, and now I go because I genuinely enjoy it. Even the simple things, like cleaning the house, have become… well, I won’t say thrilling, but at least mildly amusing. (Seriously, who knew that mopping the floor to a dance playlist could be so satisfying?) Just watch my 75 year old friends do it!

I’m even getting used to this strange, relaxed version of myself. For years, I carried tension in every muscle, like I was preparing for an earthquake that never came. Now, it feels like I’ve traded that twisted, stressed-out body for something far more comfortable—and I’m learning to settle into it, like breaking in a new pair of shoes.

And driving! Once upon a time, the thought of heavy traffic gave me cold sweats and sleepless nights. But now? I see traffic jams as a chance to practice patience (and to catch up on my favorite podcasts). It’s no longer something to dread—it’s just another part of the adventure.

So here’s to courage. To finally letting go of fear. To stepping fully into life, even if it means dancing with a mop or singing in traffic.

Senior in the Soil: My Joyful Life on a Hectare of Paradise

I live on a hectare of land—my little slice of paradise and a warm escape from Canada’s icy, slippery winter wonderland.

As a senior, I’ve learned that snow and ice don’t mix well with me (or my hips). So, here I am, turning this plot of land into a lush garden that’s slowly becoming the envy of, well, mostly just me, but it’s quite the masterpiece in progress.

Flowering Jazmine Tree. Copyright:aesta1

My hectare is a delightful patchwork of flowers, fruit trees, and vegetable beds. One part blooms with vibrant colours, while the other grows the vegetables that keep me fed and feeling virtuous about my food choices. Freshness is the name of the game here. There’s nothing like biting into a sun-warmed tomato or crunching on a cucumber straight off the vine. It’s like nature whispers, “See? This is how veggies are supposed to taste!”

Beans Growing in My Garden. Copyright: aesta1

We also keep a few chickens—not just for their eggs but because they’re fantastic little composters who love munching on leftovers. They strut around like they own the place, occasionally “borrowing” a bit of fruit or a veggie. I think they’re plotting to overthrow me, but I let it slide.

Of course, this garden doesn’t run itself. Enter my dream team: Romeo and Sam, the hardworking gardeners who keep everything thriving, and Jazmin, our innovation guru. She’s like the garden’s mad scientist, whipping up organic sprays and fertilizers that keep pests away without making the plants feel too “chemically.”

The Priceless Joy of Gardening

Let me be clear: this garden is not a money-making venture. It’s the opposite. I pour in more money than I get back. But can you put a price on the joy of plucking fresh vegetables for breakfast or wandering among fruit trees with a steaming cup of coffee in hand? For me, this is living.

Every morning, I gear up like I’m heading into battle: gloves on, basket in hand, cutter ready, and coffee firmly in my grasp. I stroll through my garden, saying hello to the plants, inspecting the squash flowers (are you male or female today?), and ensuring everything grows as it should. I’ve even started building more raised beds for better yields and experimenting with planting in pots. Why? Because I can and love seeing my neighbours scratch their heads and ask, “What’s she up to now?”

Video of Cucumbers Growing in My Garden

A Garden That Connects

Last year, I started this journey but had to leave halfway when I returned to Canada. It’s hard to garden long-distance, even with modern technology. You can get photos and videos, but nothing beats being here. There’s magic in touching the soil, smelling the herbs, and hearing the chickens cluck disapprovingly at your every move.

My hectare is more than just a garden. It’s my playground, sanctuary, and reminder that life can still be full of new beginnings, even as I grow older. The joy it brings me—watching tiny seeds grow into plants, feeding both body and soul—is priceless.

So here I am, cultivating not just fruits and vegetables but also happiness and a sense of purpose. Every day is a new adventure, whether figuring out how to outsmart a mischievous chicken or discovering a hidden zucchini the size of a baseball bat. Life on my hectare? It’s more rewarding (and hilarious) than I ever imagined.

As Seniors Celebrate Abundance and Leave Regrets Behind

Seniors, there’s so much to celebrate at our age. Many of you have wonderful children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. It’s a joy. as we watch them grow and build their own lives. At this point in our lives, this is our focus.

Field of blooms. Source: aesta1

Many of us look back, and instead of celebrating what we have become and have given life, we keep regrets in our hearts. Regret is a life-killer.
Regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment about something that has happened or that we have done in the past. The more humiliating it is, the more we keep it, hoping that no one among our friends and acquaintances knows about it. Because we keep it, even when we don’t think about it, it is a burden to us whether we are aware of it. Sometimes, we bury it deep down and lose awareness of it.

Then, at one point, a trigger comes, and whoa, we react strongly. We even surprise ourselves at the forceful reaction we have. The trigger can be something someone said, an ordinary comment that everyone else did not notice, but we reacted. Why? Because deep down, we still keep our regrets alive. So, what do we do to let go of this burden?

To overcome regret, it’s important to acknowledge it and learn from it. Here are some things we can do. I’m sure you have your answers to this, having lived so many years. Feel free to add it in the Comment Section. We can all profit from your own experience.

By practicing these strategies, you can gradually overcome regret and move forward with a positive mindset. Remember that it’s okay to seek support from friends, family, or a professional if you’re struggling with feelings of regret. Your Senior years are for you to enjoy.

  1. Acceptance: Accept that you cannot change the past and that feeling regretful will not alter what has already happened. I see it as part of my growth, which has helped me grow, so I am thankful for the experience and let it go. Even if I can’t let it go, it is no longer a burden as I look at it differently.
  2. Learn from mistakes: Use regret as a learning opportunity. Reflect on what happened, identify what you could have done differently, and use that knowledge to make better decisions in the future. We all make mistakes.
  3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer a friend.
  4. Focus on the present, on the NOW. Shift your attention to the present moment and the positive aspects of your life. Mindfulness and gratitude can help you appreciate what you have now. When you wake up in the morning and before you go to sleep, thank the Source for everything that will come to you on that day and for everything sent your way by the end of the day.
  5. Set new goals: Channel your energy into setting new goals and working towards them. This can help you create a sense of purpose and direction. It enables you to look forward.

Seniors and Social Isolation: Understanding the Causes and Mitigating the Risks

Recently, I went to help out a friend who had a double mastectomy. I had to fly out of Canada to the U.S. I realized that getting help from people around us at our age is difficult. Most of our friends also have health issues, If not them, their spouses. A number no longer drives.

At her age of 77, it is difficult to find friends and family who could be with her as most are no longer able, even if they want to help. I saw how much social isolation is a startling reality among many Seniors.

Social Isolation in Seniors. Copyright: aesta1

I also clearly saw why social isolation is a serious concern among seniors. I saw in my friends’ circle the reasons why they live an isolated existence:

  • Lack of Mobility. A number no longer drives and can’t move around quickly. 
  • Losing a spouse, family, and friends can lead to isolation. Much of the news we get every morning is about someone in our circle passing on or having health problems.
  • Retirement. When we retire, we lose not only our contacts but also our sense of purpose and identity. I asked a friend why she continues working when there’s no need for it. She replied that work gives her a reason to get up and dress up. Otherwise, many retirees stay in their pyjamas most of the day. 
  • Health problems. Some of us may have mini-strokes, cancer, or other illnesses and, thus, avoid many social interactions. 
  • Lack of access to transportation. As we age, our confidence diminishes, so we hesitate to drive. Some of us got used to having our spouses drive us, and when they pass on or become unable to do so, we find it difficult to attend social events.
  • Negativism. In several cultures, families are protective of seniors. They are discouraged from going out on their own. They need a companion each time they go out, which limits their attendance to social activities or even just visiting their friends or doing things they enjoy.

Negative consequences often follow as more isolation occurs in a Senior’s life. These include:

  • Depression and Anxiety. In the absence of social interaction, Seniors tend to focus on themselves, and issues around health make them feel sad and concerned. Social activities tend to help them forget whatever discomfort they feel.
  • Loneliness. Seniors who live alone often feel lonely. There are only enough soap operas to keep them entertained. 
  • Cognitive Decline. The lack of interaction limits the use of our mental faculties. Our forgetfulness becomes more intense, and our capacity to do things erodes. Some of my friends have driving issues and need more reminders of familiar routes. Even playing games is less helpful. Interacting with friends engages and stimulates our mental faculties.
  • Increased risks of health problems. Being alone and lonely leads to heart issues and mental breakdown. 

We must take this issue of social isolation among seniors seriously. There are things we can do to address this issue of social interaction:

  • Sharing Accommodation. In some societies, Seniors live with their families. Our friends discussed it with their kids and divided the year between two families. In many Asian cultures, unmarried or widowed aunts and uncles live with families. Their presence is a big help in the kids’ development process. They often help cook or be present when the kids come home from school.
  • Providing transportation. Friends and family can do this to enable Seniors in their families to attend social events. 
  • Becoming part of a group. Seniors can join a club, take a class in a community or senior center near them, or volunteer for important causes.
  • Introducing them to active Seniors defying age-old prejudices so they have models of what is possible.
  • Living in age-friendly communities. If not, create one. You can do much to engage your neighbourhood in becoming friendly and supportive of Seniors.
  • Hiring caregivers who can be with them and provide them with the company and support necessary. Someone who can drive and have a license is a big help.

With a bit of concern, this problem need not be serious. Individuals and communities can help make Seniors in our neighbourhood less socially isolated and more engaged. It is a concern that we can all address.

A Seniors’ Day Out

We’re all in our 70s, about 33 of us, going for a day in a city famous for seafood. We mainly wanted to eat a whole array of seafood, a favourite for this group. We grew up in the same town and went to the same grade school and high school, so there is a camaraderie among us brought about by years of growing up. Now, we are growing old together. Though some of us live in other parts of the world, we try to be home in our village, and when we are around, we get together as much as possible. 

Today, we were off to Roxas City, about three hours from our place in Iloilo. We decided to go early as most of us woke up early anyway. So, at 5 in the morning, we gathered in our town center, and there, two vans provided by two in our group waited for us.

Off we went, and one of the valuable tips I’ve learned is to have a bag of jokes to entertain everyone in the van. You will have so much fun. To energize the group further, bring a collection of old songs. Download it on your phone. They will remember their old days when you play the songs and enjoy singing along with the recording. More stories will come out of their memories. Make sure you have your battery pack. 

When planning this trip, most of the group who had been there before told us of some of the challenges they encountered. These guided us in our choices of restaurants. Knowing that most in our group were diabetic, many brought snacks, so there was enough food and drinks in the van. 

We only planned for lunch but seeing how early we arrived in the city, we proceeded to a restaurant on top of a hill big enough to accommodate us and serve breakfast immediately. We found one attached to the Convention Center. It was raining, and they immediately prepared the table and food for us because they had enough staff. Some staff even carried umbrellas for those in our group who braved the drizzle to take pictures.

The hilltop Cafe Terraza ended up as the perfect place for us. We enjoyed our breakfast and rested a bit while the others went to take pictures. Many started bringing out their pills and randomly sharing stories around the table—a great start to our day.

The restaurant for lunch, Coco Veranda, is on the beach, and you can enjoy watching the waves as you eat when the weather is fine. The weather prevented us from doing this, but it did not diminish our fun in being together and enjoying each other’s company.

Days before we left on this trip, we contacted the restaurant manager of the chosen place and outlined the dishes we wanted to enjoy. Also the time we wanted it ready, so when we arrived, they were prepared for us. After they’d served the food, silence reigned as we delved into the different seafood dishes. We had fun tasting some of our favourites and some unusual dishes. 

The trip is complete with picture taking. We are advancing in age, and a few pass on each year, so we enjoy each other’s company when we can. 

We saw the oldest bell in Pan-ay and went to Banika market, where they sell the best-dried fish. More picture-taking and buying, activities we always relish and do with gusto.  

We all enjoyed the trip, and the group wants to plan another soon.

A Senior’s Memory-A Poem

The tremendous power
Of memory unearth
Life’s incredible wealth
Fill the minds of Seniors

A Senior Reciting Rhodora

I thought of my friend,
Who recited Rhodora
A poem we learned when
In high school

That night my sister and
I searched the internet for all
The classic poems we’ve learned
Through years of literary exposure

Longfellow, Emerson, Gray, Allan Poe
All came to mind
With Shakespeare’s sonnets too
Even Flanders field inserted itself

Words came back
More to my sister than me
She has always been the literary
In the family

And feelings came as memories claimed
It made me wonder why some I remembered
And others I could not
Like the poem Rhodora
Our friend recited

Our minds are tricky,
Playing with our memory
Some things we remember and
Some we forget

Indeed our memory we treasure
As Seniors think they start fading more
But it’s because our memories of yore
Crowd our minds with so much lore.

Lessons My Garden Taught Me

Patola with Fruits. Copyright: aesta1

Little did I know that starting this garden would yield not only produce but lessons that I keep learning every day.

I started this garden because I love to putter around a garden early morning with my cup of coffee in one hand and a song in my heart, looking at every plant’s daily changes.

As the garden progressed, things kept changing. The changes are not only in the plant’s growth but also in people directly or indirectly involved in the garden.

I was the only one interested in having this garden. I had no idea I started something several in the family love to be involved in. So, this is the first lesson I learned. At that time, my husband and I were still working and could not take substantial time to be in the garden. Other family members took the lead, and I gave up designing and landscaping my garden.

The first time this happened, I resented it. However, I was realistic enough to know that time was not with me. Other people have the interest, the workforce, and the time.

Because of this, the garden expanded and grew beautifully. Different people used it for their interests, so the garden became a series of beautiful memories. At one time, sunflowers filled it, becoming the setting of celebrations and photo opportunities.

These days, plots of different kinds of vegetables grace it, yielding produce for our consumption and the market. The garden is now earning little to defray its maintenance and development expenses.

Black Beans and Corn. Copyright: aesta1

One of the lessons I have learned is that a garden requires time and presence. In the Tropics, where plants grow or die fast when not watered, you must keep your watch or lose some expensive plants. Until the plants take root, you must give them care.

When the plants start producing, your job is not over. They come in abundance that you can hardly harvest them at their peak. There’s a time when they’re just suitable for cooking. Not too ripe or mature and not too young. The gardeners also told me that with some plants, you couldn’t leave the fruits to mature on the vines as that would stop them from growing new shoots. When the plants are healthy, the produce is so abundant that you can’t eat them all, so you need to share or sell them. I was appalled one day when I spent hours harvesting string beans, and all the vendors paid for it when I sent it to the market was a little less than $2. So two hours or probably more of my day was only worth that much? I was discouraged, but the benefits of eating fresh produce gave me hope and a new resolve.

Squash and Okra. Copyright: aesta1

There is satisfaction in having your garden. Every morning, I watch for new blooms, shoots, or fruits. In the tropics, it is fast to grow native varieties.

Aside from eating fresh produce, I get to help others. One of these vendors comes regularly, and she picks the vegetables she would cook and sell for the workers at the irrigation close to us. She has eight kids and a husband who cannot support the family. But this lady wanted all her kids to go to school and earn degrees later. So, she does whatever she can to achieve her dream. She picks up what she wants and gives our gardener a fair price when she comes. Sometimes, she has only so much money, and she would tell us she’ll share more next time.

Do I bother? No, I am happy that this person works hard to improve her life and that of her children.

So, we keep investing in the garden, giving us produce and joy. We couldn’t be happier.

Focus on the Positive

The other day, I got a call from a friend. She asked me how my summer was, to which I replied, we had so much fun with the family together, but it was tiring with so many late nights, drinking, eating, dock time in the sun, and hanging out.

Summer Experience

Immediately, my friend reacted. You had so much fun, but….why the but? I got a bit defensive, but I fully understood her question and her reaction. She waited for my answer, which was a stumbling explanation of something I needed to face within me. I wanted to evade the question, but my friend did not want to let go. 

My friend and I talked about the way our minds work. The judgments we often heard had largely conditioned us and had allowed this conditioning to influence our thinking. We had not freed ourselves from it. We had been unaware of such a way of thinking that we went through life doing exactly that.

This conversation with my friend triggered a reckoning on my part of how my mind worked. Why couldn’t I savour the positive experiences? Why was my mind prone to thinking about the negative?

There were so many positive events that happened in my life which I hadn’t turned into positive experiences. I had experienced these positively but had judged it afterward, and they had become so-so with the negative judgments weighing upon them. When asked about it, that negative judgment was the first thing that came up.

Why was this so? 

Because we never savoured our positive experiences for fear that it would make us less good, it never stayed with us as much as the negative judgments did. We never revisited these joyous moments, so what stayed with us were only the negative comments we made about the experience. Thus, we grew up full of negative judgments.

Even around us, we listen to the news, and we often hear these comments, “too little, too late.”

There is so much focus on the negative as if these negative sell more than the positive. The focus is mainly on the negative.

It’s time we turn this around. My friend and I discussed what we could do about this propensity for negative thoughts. These are some of the things we decided to do.

First, understand better how the brain functions and rewire it for happiness. There are many articles and videos on the brain as people start understanding how the brain works. This development is a significant plus to our collective consciousness.

Second, clean up little by little the traces of negative thoughts we have accumulated. These traces of negativity require a thorough cleaning but not to worry. Face them as they come. I have many of these, and when they manifest themselves, I revisit them and savor the positive experiences sans the negative judgments. Then, I say goodbye to them and never again revisit them. I leave them to the past where they belong.

Third, savor positive experiences. Many of our experiences are fun. However, we remember the negative judgments people around us made or our negative judgments of aspects of that experience because of how our minds worked.

Fourth, build gratitude. Every moment you think about your life, think of the many things you are happy about it. We will always find many things. As we practice doing this every day, gratitude becomes the pervading feeling in our lives.

Fifth, surround ourselves with positive influences and tune out the negative. Some people make you feel happy. Be with them and limit your interaction with people who tend to be negative in their judgments. Enjoy life. There is so much positive around us when we focus on them.

Finally, forgive. Let go of the hurts that we have harbored for years. They have affected us adversely for so long, and that’s enough. We now leave them where they belong. We are new beings now, and these things no longer have any influence on us.

I was glad that my friend brought this negativity to my awareness when telling her about my summer experience. I then revisited my summer experience and savoured the fun we had as a family, the sharing be it of books, music, or movies we’ve watched recently.

I focused on the positive and the fun and enjoyment we’ve had. I realized how rich and satisfying the experience was and appreciated every moment of it.

Introducing Seniors Futures

617 million are 65 or older. This data was first published in 2015 so the numbers have gone up. This is projected to increase to 1.6 billion by 2050, about 17% of the world’s population (An Ageing World, National Institute on Aging).

Because there are so many Seniors now, interest in what engages them and what interesting topics catch their attention have gone up. We Seniors should be happy and get engage with these interesting discussions.

This significant development on Seniors bring with it joys, wisdom, opportunities and plenty of challenges as the body starts its decline and the mind wanders off to memory lane.

There are many opportunities as well. I don’t think I can think of any other periods in history most comfortable for Seniors to be in. To go out, we have our own driver, Uber or Lyft. Any good we want to buy can be delivered straight to our doors. We have all kinds of researches on Seniors being done and medical professionals and caregivers to take care of our health.

This is the most significant area this site will highlight so Seniors can be on top of these recent development and understand its implications and applications to their own lives.

Not many of us lived healthier lives as we got into the challenges of our times so we now experience the results of that. We can’t hide them. The lines and contours show them well. Thus, this site.

Seniors Futures is a site conceived to dig deeper into the developments Seniors grapple with. From Finance, to Travel, to Grandparenting, to Health, to Style, Seniors face many new developments that can overwhelm them.

This site helps to make sense of all these developments and discuss some of these more thoroughly in more understandable ways.

I am Mary Norton and I have a Ph.D. in Organizational Development. I have seen in my work how many Seniors are now leaving the workplace. Lost after the structured life in the workplace, many walk around listlessly hoping someone would engage them.

Before, the engagement was there with the job, they had somewhere to go and something to do. Now, some find meaningful ways to respond to the new reality. Others, get lost and are unable to make sense of this new context.

As I am a Senior now, I get more interested in what my friends and colleagues share about ageing and growing old. Moreover, I go through these developments myself and like many of my Senior friends, we laugh at it many times as we share many of our Senior moments. At the same time, we worry about what the future holds. We get upset at things we don’t understand or find hard to understand.

In addition to the new reality, new technologies come and leave us unable to use many of its features. Just read the news on how predators on the Net prey on older people. It is upsetting.

The younger ones find these developments fun and make their lives easy but for us, Seniors, just finding our way to using many of these new technologies take several sessions with grandchildren.

So, to respond to this worry, we discuss these matters, read on these and seek confirmation in our own experience. This is what we want to share with you in this site.

This is not a scholarly site nor does it contain expert medical advice. No, the posts here are just the sharing of Seniors of what they go through. We hope that you will get involved more actively by making comments or sharing your own experience in the matters discussed in some of the posts.

It is our hope that we can build a community of Seniors willing to share and contribute to the discussion. You are invited to share and be part of our community. Your experience will be valuable to building a knowledge bank for Seniors.