Tag: Seniors

As Seniors Celebrate Abundance and Leave Regrets Behind

Seniors, there’s so much to celebrate at our age. Many of you have wonderful children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. It’s a joy. as we watch them grow and build their own lives. At this point in our lives, this is our focus.

Field of blooms. Source: aesta1

Many of us look back, and instead of celebrating what we have become and have given life, we keep regrets in our hearts. Regret is a life-killer.
Regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment about something that has happened or that we have done in the past. The more humiliating it is, the more we keep it, hoping that no one among our friends and acquaintances knows about it. Because we keep it, even when we don’t think about it, it is a burden to us whether we are aware of it. Sometimes, we bury it deep down and lose awareness of it.

Then, at one point, a trigger comes, and whoa, we react strongly. We even surprise ourselves at the forceful reaction we have. The trigger can be something someone said, an ordinary comment that everyone else did not notice, but we reacted. Why? Because deep down, we still keep our regrets alive. So, what do we do to let go of this burden?

To overcome regret, it’s important to acknowledge it and learn from it. Here are some things we can do. I’m sure you have your answers to this, having lived so many years. Feel free to add it in the Comment Section. We can all profit from your own experience.

By practicing these strategies, you can gradually overcome regret and move forward with a positive mindset. Remember that it’s okay to seek support from friends, family, or a professional if you’re struggling with feelings of regret. Your Senior years are for you to enjoy.

  1. Acceptance: Accept that you cannot change the past and that feeling regretful will not alter what has already happened. I see it as part of my growth, which has helped me grow, so I am thankful for the experience and let it go. Even if I can’t let it go, it is no longer a burden as I look at it differently.
  2. Learn from mistakes: Use regret as a learning opportunity. Reflect on what happened, identify what you could have done differently, and use that knowledge to make better decisions in the future. We all make mistakes.
  3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer a friend.
  4. Focus on the present, on the NOW. Shift your attention to the present moment and the positive aspects of your life. Mindfulness and gratitude can help you appreciate what you have now. When you wake up in the morning and before you go to sleep, thank the Source for everything that will come to you on that day and for everything sent your way by the end of the day.
  5. Set new goals: Channel your energy into setting new goals and working towards them. This can help you create a sense of purpose and direction. It enables you to look forward.

Innovative Solutions for Seniors

Whether we like to or not, there will come a time when we will need assistive devices. These devices enable us to do things we have a hard time doing without any of these.

Innovative Solutions for Seniors. Source: aesta1

Recently, we had a get-together with my friends since grade school. A classmate came from the United States and treated us to lunch. We had so much fun, but we noticed all the assistive devices our friend needed to have to be able to do this gathering. She had a walker, a cane, and a seat that doubles as a wheelchair.

Some Seniors do not want to use these devices as they worry about what people say if they go around in a wheelchair. They trade safety for their pride. Our friend had no problem using these devices, but we saw her difficulty. She needed people to assist her, too. Please live in a caring country where family takes care of you and makes it easy for you to go around, but it becomes more challenging if you live on your own. Still, having these devices makes life tolerable and safe.

I remember when my husband first used a walker and a wheelchair. The walker enabled him to go to the bathroom and shower independently, which he liked. We had to practice using the wheelchair so he could go around and go for appointments. 

We all know as seniors that the time will come when a cane is in hand. Some of us can get by with an umbrella, but it is less safe than a cane.

 Here are some examples of assistive devices that can help seniors maintain their independence:

Walkers:

Walkers provide support and stability for seniors who have difficulty walking. Seniors can use these indoors or outdoors, and come in a variety of styles and sizes. Choose one you can use indoors to go to the shower or bathroom or around your house.

Canes:

Canes provide support and balance for seniors who have difficulty walking. They are typically used indoors and come in various styles and materials. Many of my Senior friends use canes outdoors. It is easy to carry. Sometimes, they use an umbrella, but a cane has better stability.

Wheelchairs:

If you are a Senior and cannot walk, use a wheelchair. Wheelchairs come in various types, including manual wheelchairs, power wheelchairs, and scooters. 

I don’t know why some Seniors refuse to use a wheelchair. My mother did not want to use so we can’t bring her out. She refused to be seen in a wheelchair by her friends. We assured her her friends would be happy to see her and won’t mind the wheelchair. 

Mobility scooters:

Mobility scooters are motorized vehicles, so Seniors can go wherever they want. They can get groceries, go to appointments, and enjoy driving. They are typically used outdoors and come in various sizes and styles.

Bathroom safety equipment:

Bathroom safety equipment can help seniors prevent falls in the bathroom. This equipment includes grab bars, shower chairs, and raised toilet seats. It’s good to see many disabled Seniors go around in it. 

Home medical equipment:

Home medical equipment can help seniors manage their chronic conditions. This equipment includes blood pressure monitors, glucose meters, and oxygen tanks. I remember having an oxygen tank at home when my mother was not well. 

Communication devices:

Communication devices can help seniors who have difficulty speaking or hearing. These devices include amplified phones, captioning devices, and speech recognition software. Seniors living on their own can benefit from these devices.

Personal emergency response systems:

Personal emergency response systems (PERS) can help seniors call for help in an emergency. These systems typically include a base unit connected to a landline phone and a wearable pendant or wristband that the senior can wear. If the old presses the button on the pendant or wristband, the base unit will call a monitoring center, which will then dispatch help.

Of course, you can pay for help 24/7 or stay in an assisted living place. However, if you want to stay home, which many Seniors prefer, and live a close to everyday life, these devices will help you. Our wish is that you won’t need any of these. But if you do, use it well.

Seniors and Social Isolation: Understanding the Causes and Mitigating the Risks

Recently, I went to help out a friend who had a double mastectomy. I had to fly out of Canada to the U.S. I realized that getting help from people around us at our age is difficult. Most of our friends also have health issues, If not them, their spouses. A number no longer drives.

At her age of 77, it is difficult to find friends and family who could be with her as most are no longer able, even if they want to help. I saw how much social isolation is a startling reality among many Seniors.

Social Isolation in Seniors. Copyright: aesta1

I also clearly saw why social isolation is a serious concern among seniors. I saw in my friends’ circle the reasons why they live an isolated existence:

  • Lack of Mobility. A number no longer drives and can’t move around quickly. 
  • Losing a spouse, family, and friends can lead to isolation. Much of the news we get every morning is about someone in our circle passing on or having health problems.
  • Retirement. When we retire, we lose not only our contacts but also our sense of purpose and identity. I asked a friend why she continues working when there’s no need for it. She replied that work gives her a reason to get up and dress up. Otherwise, many retirees stay in their pyjamas most of the day. 
  • Health problems. Some of us may have mini-strokes, cancer, or other illnesses and, thus, avoid many social interactions. 
  • Lack of access to transportation. As we age, our confidence diminishes, so we hesitate to drive. Some of us got used to having our spouses drive us, and when they pass on or become unable to do so, we find it difficult to attend social events.
  • Negativism. In several cultures, families are protective of seniors. They are discouraged from going out on their own. They need a companion each time they go out, which limits their attendance to social activities or even just visiting their friends or doing things they enjoy.

Negative consequences often follow as more isolation occurs in a Senior’s life. These include:

  • Depression and Anxiety. In the absence of social interaction, Seniors tend to focus on themselves, and issues around health make them feel sad and concerned. Social activities tend to help them forget whatever discomfort they feel.
  • Loneliness. Seniors who live alone often feel lonely. There are only enough soap operas to keep them entertained. 
  • Cognitive Decline. The lack of interaction limits the use of our mental faculties. Our forgetfulness becomes more intense, and our capacity to do things erodes. Some of my friends have driving issues and need more reminders of familiar routes. Even playing games is less helpful. Interacting with friends engages and stimulates our mental faculties.
  • Increased risks of health problems. Being alone and lonely leads to heart issues and mental breakdown. 

We must take this issue of social isolation among seniors seriously. There are things we can do to address this issue of social interaction:

  • Sharing Accommodation. In some societies, Seniors live with their families. Our friends discussed it with their kids and divided the year between two families. In many Asian cultures, unmarried or widowed aunts and uncles live with families. Their presence is a big help in the kids’ development process. They often help cook or be present when the kids come home from school.
  • Providing transportation. Friends and family can do this to enable Seniors in their families to attend social events. 
  • Becoming part of a group. Seniors can join a club, take a class in a community or senior center near them, or volunteer for important causes.
  • Introducing them to active Seniors defying age-old prejudices so they have models of what is possible.
  • Living in age-friendly communities. If not, create one. You can do much to engage your neighbourhood in becoming friendly and supportive of Seniors.
  • Hiring caregivers who can be with them and provide them with the company and support necessary. Someone who can drive and have a license is a big help.

With a bit of concern, this problem need not be serious. Individuals and communities can help make Seniors in our neighbourhood less socially isolated and more engaged. It is a concern that we can all address.

Silver Laughter: The Transformative Power of Humour in Seniors

Humour. Copyright: aesta1

When my 70-plus-year-old friends and I go on long trips, we always ask our funny friends to sit by us. You know why. We overlook the time when we keep laughing.

Humour brings joy, alleviates stress, and enhances our social connections. I only wish I have this sense of humour. Sadly, when the Angel of God distributed this gift, I was not around. Still, I am here to share how humour can benefit Seniors.

Here are a few:

  1. Laughter boosts mood.
    Humour and laughter release endorphins, which are natural feel-good chemicals. Seniors who engage in humour and laughter experience an improved mood and increased happiness.
  2. Stress relief.
    Aging can come with challenges, but humour can be a stress reliever. Finding humour in everyday situations helps seniors cope with stress, lighten their outlook, and maintain a positive mindset.
  3. Social connection.
    Sharing laughter and humour strengthens social bonds and fosters connections with others. Simply sharing funny stories with friends can create a sense of camaraderie and alleviate feelings of loneliness or isolation.
  4. Mental health.
    Humour stimulates the brain and promotes mental agility. It improves cognitive functioning, memory, and creativity. Activities like solving puzzles, playing games, or watching comedy shows can be mentally stimulating and entertaining.
  5. Perspective and resilience.
    Humour helps seniors maintain a sense of perspective and resilience when facing challenges. It allows us to find the lighter side of life and approach difficulties with a positive attitude.

It is, however, essential to note that humour should always be respectful and sensitive to individual preferences. What may be funny to one person might not be to another. When using humour with seniors, it’s essential to consider their cultural background, values, and personal circumstances. Otherwise, it can break relationships.

A Seniors’ Day Out

We’re all in our 70s, about 33 of us, going for a day in a city famous for seafood. We mainly wanted to eat a whole array of seafood, a favourite for this group. We grew up in the same town and went to the same grade school and high school, so there is a camaraderie among us brought about by years of growing up. Now, we are growing old together. Though some of us live in other parts of the world, we try to be home in our village, and when we are around, we get together as much as possible. 

Today, we were off to Roxas City, about three hours from our place in Iloilo. We decided to go early as most of us woke up early anyway. So, at 5 in the morning, we gathered in our town center, and there, two vans provided by two in our group waited for us.

Off we went, and one of the valuable tips I’ve learned is to have a bag of jokes to entertain everyone in the van. You will have so much fun. To energize the group further, bring a collection of old songs. Download it on your phone. They will remember their old days when you play the songs and enjoy singing along with the recording. More stories will come out of their memories. Make sure you have your battery pack. 

When planning this trip, most of the group who had been there before told us of some of the challenges they encountered. These guided us in our choices of restaurants. Knowing that most in our group were diabetic, many brought snacks, so there was enough food and drinks in the van. 

We only planned for lunch but seeing how early we arrived in the city, we proceeded to a restaurant on top of a hill big enough to accommodate us and serve breakfast immediately. We found one attached to the Convention Center. It was raining, and they immediately prepared the table and food for us because they had enough staff. Some staff even carried umbrellas for those in our group who braved the drizzle to take pictures.

The hilltop Cafe Terraza ended up as the perfect place for us. We enjoyed our breakfast and rested a bit while the others went to take pictures. Many started bringing out their pills and randomly sharing stories around the table—a great start to our day.

The restaurant for lunch, Coco Veranda, is on the beach, and you can enjoy watching the waves as you eat when the weather is fine. The weather prevented us from doing this, but it did not diminish our fun in being together and enjoying each other’s company.

Days before we left on this trip, we contacted the restaurant manager of the chosen place and outlined the dishes we wanted to enjoy. Also the time we wanted it ready, so when we arrived, they were prepared for us. After they’d served the food, silence reigned as we delved into the different seafood dishes. We had fun tasting some of our favourites and some unusual dishes. 

The trip is complete with picture taking. We are advancing in age, and a few pass on each year, so we enjoy each other’s company when we can. 

We saw the oldest bell in Pan-ay and went to Banika market, where they sell the best-dried fish. More picture-taking and buying, activities we always relish and do with gusto.  

We all enjoyed the trip, and the group wants to plan another soon.

A Senior’s Memory-A Poem

The tremendous power
Of memory unearth
Life’s incredible wealth
Fill the minds of Seniors

A Senior Reciting Rhodora

I thought of my friend,
Who recited Rhodora
A poem we learned when
In high school

That night my sister and
I searched the internet for all
The classic poems we’ve learned
Through years of literary exposure

Longfellow, Emerson, Gray, Allan Poe
All came to mind
With Shakespeare’s sonnets too
Even Flanders field inserted itself

Words came back
More to my sister than me
She has always been the literary
In the family

And feelings came as memories claimed
It made me wonder why some I remembered
And others I could not
Like the poem Rhodora
Our friend recited

Our minds are tricky,
Playing with our memory
Some things we remember and
Some we forget

Indeed our memory we treasure
As Seniors think they start fading more
But it’s because our memories of yore
Crowd our minds with so much lore.

Celebrate Change with Anticipation

Anticipation

From the side of your eyes, nothing changed. For others looking at you, the changes are pretty remarkable.


Often, we’re the last ones to understand the impact of change on ourselves because we usually can’t see it.



As your body migrates south, the ultimate destiny being 30-inch ankles, we hope wisdom migrates north, accepting both the losses and the gains.


But in each landmark, our pace slows down a little bit of knowledge and experience and insight make us much more sure and creative.


For a long time, lifetime change is a whole world of trade-offs between the physical and the intellectual and if we celebrate what is going well and what is doing better, each of life’s seasons becomes enjoyable.


Twenty years ago, we could visit a medieval city and one day feel we’ve given it a review. Today, we’re lucky if we can get out of the main square in a day. We’d not really see more, but everything we see has much more meaning, kickstarts more thoughts and ideas, and reaches sideways to hold hands with many memories.


What we’re looking at hasn’t changed, but what we bring to the viewing has changed remarkably. Thoughtfulness replaced speed, and variety has changed, linking up memory chains.



So as we look at lifestyle change, the focus is not on deterioration and loss. Its expansion of capacities and gain new layers of experience in everything we see and do.


The fun quotient is either stable or goes up if we understand that sprinting is not the only way of moving through life. So, in personal appearance, we’ve come to move a little further up the index. In food, clarity of taste and presentation moves up the ladder past bulk and portability. In opinions, balance becomes more evident. In travel, comfort takes precedence over ticking boxes.



Research becomes as essential as a surprise—the search for meaning moves ahead of the need for new jolts of experience.


Life becomes much more satisfying and engaging as the constant need for fireworks abates. Marriage, the first children, college, their marriage, jobs, and grandchildren cause massive lifestyle changes. The anticipation of these events must always outweigh any sense of loss if we want to grow with the years.

Lessons I’ve Learned From the Loss of A Loved One

Well, what says you? I have been retired for some years now and so are my friends. Not only that, many in my circle have now passed on—a staggering reality for many Seniors. 

Loss of a Loved One
Loss of a Loved One

My husband passed away three years ago, and only today, another in our high school class more than 50 years ago also died. 

Death is so much a part of life. More so in our senior years. The earlier we accept this reality, the better will be our appreciation when it takes place in our lives.

We all dread it, I understand. But, at one time or another, someone who is so much a part of our life passes on. The pain and the loss are something you don’t want to wish on, even your worst enemy. 

How do you go through this? How do you manage? When, even amid fun, the memory of the loved one who passed on occupies your thoughts? How do you forget? 

How do you hold the tears that, at any moment, pour out? How can you enjoy anything when your thoughts often return to not being there?

Loss can be debilitating. It can ground you in misery, fear, and loneliness. Even with supportive family and friends, it is not like having your loved one there.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned:

  1. I realized how valuable companionship is, to have someone to laugh with, express your fears, foresee your reaction and smile at it understandably, hold your hand when the movie scares you, or discuss the often perplexing events in today’s world. 
  2. I have to learn to do many things on my own. Eating out alone in a restaurant gives me a bit of discomfort. Or going to a movie or a show on my own. There’s no one to whisper some comments to or share your delight over a dish or a performance.
  3. I don’t enjoy long drives alone. When my husband was around, our long drives were moments of getting to know things in our past, childhood, or thoughts about many things. The sharing somehow becomes more intimate and genuine. Listening to the radio now doesn’t cut it.
  4. I don’t enjoy socializing on my own. It’s like half is missing. My husband was very gregarious and never wanting for words and stories. I, on the other hand, would prefer only to listen. Now, I have to talk more. Maybe, this is not so bad after all.
  5. It’s always fun to have someone around you to harass, laugh with, cry on, love, and be loved. No matter how much you search for a replacement, it is not the same. Mourn your loss. It is important to do this. However, you have to move on and look for ways to live life after your loss. It is not the end. It is the beginning of something different, fascinating and satisfying when you allow yourself to experience it.

A friend told me that those who died are still with us, and I like this. I talk to my husband all the time. When driving, I ask him to help me navigate the traffic, make it easy to merge on the highway, and don’t forget to close the gas cover or leave my credit card or wallet on the pump.

I see friends in other countries. At least I have company in seeing places and enjoying restaurants in those cities. I see friends where I live. 

I have learned to be close to family, travel with them once in a while, visit them, and hang out with them. As was the case before, I have come to appreciate them more as I relate with them directly and not through my husband. 

I have worked on my fears and my tendency to depend on someone. I learn to do things like driving long distances, fixing things, taking care of things on my own, and dealing with loneliness. 

Each one of us deals with loss in a different way. 

But I have many friends who have lived alone because they have not married, divorced, or widowed. I’ve learned how to take things in stride from them and not let matters overwhelm me. They kept telling me that they’d done it for many years. Why am I complaining? Somehow, this pushes me to do the things I dread doing.

After three years, I feel I’m getting into the rhythm of living alone. As much as the first day it happened, I am still my husband, but I can cope with life alone.

I found how valuable a good relationship with our families and friends is. It’s strong support as I deal with my loss. I don’t think I would have managed if not for these relationships.

What Is Your Favourite Childhood Memory

How many years ago was that? I’ll try if I remember anything as I can hardly remember where I placed my glasses a minute ago.

Backyard

Friends had been sharing the moments they enjoyed so much when they were children. Mind you, that was a different environment from where we are today.

Then, we felt safe in our neighborhood. We played in the streets. We walked to school unaccompanied, and after school, we played with friends. Primarily, our parents had no clue where we were. Most parents then had only one rule: to be home before dark.

When we celebrated our golden jubilee in our old high school, which means 50 years after graduation, most of our friends remembered best our traversing the path home in the rain, carrying our slippers for fear that they might break we’ll get a good one from our mothers.

We slid in the mud, pushing one another in great delight. We couldn’t think of any bullies among us. If a hint comes out, we will get it from our parents. This fear was more than enough to keep us within the line.

We had close friends, but we played with almost anyone. Even the older kids never bullied us. They taught us many things, or some ignored us. As the bell rings, signaling the end of classes, the streets stream with kids in uniforms as classrooms empty in various directions.

After school is the best time of the day for most of us. There was still time to play before we had to go home to do our chores.

We hardly had toys at home, so we stayed in the streets with our friends. We thought of games to play, stories to tell, fruit trees to climb, and infrequently go home with a friend to eat simple left-overs at their house, which often meant cold rice and dried fish. But thinking about it now, we salivate as if we were in front of a hugely delicious feast.

The games we played consisted mainly of using stones, old cans, or bottles. Whatever we can find around. We marked the perimeters on the ground with sticks. Oh, we played with sticks, too. We had plenty of fun. But when we showed how we played these games to our children and grandchildren, they smirked at us with their bored faces.

On weekends, we often went for exploration. This activity was best immediately aftermath a storm. We all head to the river. The river in our tiny town became a beehive of activity. We gathered firewood, built temporary wells showing these off to each other, swam, floated in the water, and helped our family with washing clothes.

Some of our friends were excellent climbers. A few had many relatives whose trees we could peruse with ripe fruits. I remember always going out with a friend to climb star apple trees. I have to confess that I could not climb. It scared me stiff. So, I would spread my skirt around my waist and catch the ripe fruits I could not capture well. My friends never for an instant laughed at this or belittled me. They worked around my handicap and found things I could do. Yes, those were the days when bullying was not a trend yet.

After more than fifty years after our high school graduation, this memory is often the most remembered and shared. We must have enjoyed so much our simple lives then. We never blamed our parents that they deprived us or that they never had time for us. We were content then and happy now about our life then.

I wish we had pictures of those days, but unhappily with the absence of cameras and cellphones, we could not document so much of our fun. It’s etched thoroughly in our minds, and though over 70, we could still talk about it as if it only happened yesterday.

We accept that times have changed now, and kids live in a different context with its challenges. We understand that. Yet, we sometimes wish life was still as simple as our childhood.

Our grandkids live in a different context. They have to deal with other challenges, and only if we enter into their world will we be able to help them. Like us, they will cherish their memories just as much as we do ours.

I hope I have awakened a cherished childhood memory you had. Do share it.

Why a Cup of Coffee in Bed Is Very Satisfying

Nothing urgent is out there calling you to get out of bed. Is there? The perk of being a senior.
First Coffee Cup

So, in the morning, I look forward to having my cup of coffee. I have had my coffee in bed these days, and I realized how enjoyable it is. I used to get up, get ready for work and drive to the office, waiting to get a coffee there. It perks me up for work.

However, now that there is no work to hurry to, I can enjoy my cup of coffee leisurely, every sip a delight.

It makes me feel I have nothing else to do, only enjoy being with myself, essential.

I had no idea of its joyous potential until recently, when the lockdown made me live with myself and no one else. I talk to myself. I only see myself, so I began to see myself consciously. I started to know it, explore its inner realities, and what a surprise it is.

The self has a tremendous inner world waiting to be known. I started exploring, and I delved into its dark side. I felt its fears, insecurities, deficiencies, sorrows, anxieties, and secrets. It astounded me that I connected to it, got to know it, and brought it to light.

As I dug deeper, I found my inner self beneath these, a self full of light, beauty, and capable of creating. I started connecting to this self, and my life changed. Could this be real?

My life fills with magic as I welcome the new unfolding, the unknown getting known each day. A different pattern unfolds before me, something I create not with the usual effort of the previous self but with the ease of connecting to power beyond oneself.

Now, I love these moments of being with myself and connecting its power to its depth to its unending capacity. I realize I am not seeking my mission in life which for years I agonize over. I strive for myself, the self that is my gift to the world. It’s myself as it continues in its creative unfolding. Here I am, universe. I am the gift, the mission, the calling. I am as I become and connect to the universe.

I had for years felt the longing for home, not the physical house, and for years I moved from country to country, and it kept nagging at me. I did not understand it, so I ignored it, but it stayed on.

Recently, I have come home with time for myself and alone with myself. To a world right there inside of me and yet connected to all. I have come home.

I now realize I have one call, one mission, to be. To be the fully developed being that I am. As I do this, I become more connected to the world because as I become one with myself, I become one with the world. Oneness. No more division. Wholeness.

So one more coffee in bed. One more time to be me.