These four words recently struck me as I spent time during the pandemic watching self-help videos. I have ignored these videos for some time, but I got into it during the lockdown. Some were not helpful, but others opened me to what I needed to do in my life. Because I was devoid of many engagements during the lockdown and was engaged entirely only with myself, I got to know it better.
The value of being one with my inner being became very compelling to me.
The dark side of my inner self revealed itself to me.
I talked to myself. I began to be more aware of what is happening in myself. I started to know it, explored its inner realities and what a surprise it was. I got to know myself better and learned so much about my inner being. This inner world had been waiting for me to know it better, and as I started exploring it, I delved into its dark side.
This dark side greatly influenced my actions and decisions, and I didn’t even know how much it affected me.
I felt its fears, insecurities, deficiencies, sorrows, anxieties, and secrets. It astounded me that I connected to it, got to know it and brought it to light. As I dug deeper, I found my inner self beneath these, a self full of light, beauty and capable of creating a life. I started connecting to this creative self, and my life changed.
Could this be real?
My life became magical as, each day, I welcome the daily unfolding, the unknown getting known. A different pattern unfolded before me, something I created but not with the usual effort of the previous self but with the ease of connecting to power within one’s self.
Now, I love these moments of being with myself, getting to connect to its power to its depth, to its unending capacity. I realize I am not seeking my mission in life which for years I agonize over. I strive for myself, the self that is my gift to the world. It’s my self as it continues in its creative unfolding.
Here I am, universe. I am the gift, the mission, the calling. I am as I become and connect to the universe.
I had for years felt the longing for home, not the physical home.
I was restless wherever I was as the longing got even more intense. I moved from country to country, and this longing kept nagging at me. I did not understand it, so I ignored it, but it stayed on. Recently, with time for myself, alone with myself, I have come home. To a world right there inside of me and yet connected to all.
I have come home.
I now realize I have one call, one mission, and that is “to be.” To be the fully developed being that I am. As I do this, I become more connected to the world because I become one with the world as I become one with myself. Oneness. No more division. Wholeness.
